ATM scraps «Dinner for One»

The Sketch "Dinner for One" is being banned for its clear lack of political correctness. Photo: screengrab / youtube.

ATM scraps «Dinner for One» after #metoo-criticism

– It’s not in the Christmas spirit when a woman coerces a drunk employee to have sex,  ATM boss, Live Nofunson tells Thorway Noday.  The story first appeared in the tremendously great, 100% fake newspaper, Vines of Grape.

 

Are you looking forward to «Dinner for One»?

Perish the thought.

ATM has received massive hand or pigeon delivered protests from various 100% politically correct groups before the broadcast of the traditional sketch on the day before Christmas Eve. Because of this, they have stricken it from its schedule.

The leadership of the Christian Canonical Prudent’s Party (CCCP) rejoices over the decision.

– We can not accept that drunkenness and sexual pressure is a part of the Christmas celebrations. Think of the innocent children, an indignant deputy leader Holly Blissberg Boringheim fumes.

List of no-no’s

Boringheim sent an itemised list to the Absolutely Totalitarian Media (ATM) last week consisting of several blatant and serious sins found therein:

  • In 11 minutes, the servant consumes in excess of 20 units of alcohol. He does not eat anything.
  • The woman only drinks six units of alcohol, but she imagines persons who are not present, so it’s safe to assume that the prescribed drug abuse is rampant.
  • While the rest of the world has turned against the use of fur. Fur and dead animals are very central to the sketch, nonetheless.
  • The woman is the boss in the household. The man obeys and thus takes on the role of a woman. This confuses children’s perception of traditional gender roles.

There is overt flirting going on, especially towards the end of the play, even though the man and the woman are not joined in holy wedlock. To add insult to injury, she is the employer of the poor guy and thereby exerts sexual pressure known from the recent harassment cases.

– We listen to our viewers and to our politicians and have already begun recording our own, modernised version of «Dinner for One» in cooperation with PMS,  Nofunson explains in Sanskrit.

In 2019, the TV viewers will be presented with an organic, politically correct, remake where the bearskin is replaced with a quilt and the drinks are made up of several varieties of sustainably manufactured herbal infusions.

– The Countess will be played by Moonlight Noguns Borg and the butler by Thom Krus. There will be productive discussions and meaningful dialogue, Nonfunson chants in ancient Nepalese.

– No «Same procedure as every year..»?

– By golly, no! They go home to their respective spouses at 9 pm. They will be wearing snow spikes, smocked frocks, tinfoil hats and organically made reflexes sponsored by Faux News.

 

An earlier attempt by Blitz attempted to rectify some of the glaring social degradations but failed dismally to do so:

 

© VG / #Norway Today

 

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